Spam, wilst thou ne'er fritter away?

I'd like to invent a filter which could transform Proff Charles Soludo's deeply offensive spam-title into 'Lovely Insect Pictures' and make Buz Fullenkamp's obscene message instead read as 'Young girl carrying oldman's shopping.'

This filter would have to leave the preposterous names intact though.
Here are the most striking ones amongst the recent spammers:

Osvaldo Shoemaker
Peyton Wadley
Faustine Tilbert
Zula Tory
Thorburn Cargile
Mekus Lee
Rickey Nance
Zosia Reams
Herbert Huppert
Padgett Teador
Brent Chin
Jordana Vanish
and
Silas Bacon (who wrote to me about 'optician graphics').